From the time a child is placed in my home until well after they leave, a crew of professionals seem to form a circle around the office and have their meetings.. applying their expertise - in search of answers to find the best avenue to safely return the child to its family..

In the mean time Foster parents must be sensitive and tolerant as advocates to ensure that the needs of the child in foster care are met. Unfortunately the kids that I have had come, usually come with just the cloths on their back, and if we are lucky they have shoes.

We get a emergency "Clothing Vouchers" , usually for about $ 100 to $ 125 dollars, and believe me that does not purchase much. But if you follow the link above, you can get your moneys worth and then some. We are issued Temp. Medical Cards, so if the child needs it, they are covered.   

In the mean time I get the child settled in his new home, it could be for one night or for years, it all depends on the circumstances.  The Social Workers does not know anymore than we do, how long it will take, so I am ready to commit for the duration.

All this happens while the birth family watches with anticipation for their child's return.

Foster Parenting experience is like no other family life experience. Love is not enough. Children in foster care have special needs. Foster parents do not just foster a child -- they foster a system.

The interest of the child is my primary concern. The social worker and I the foster parent  work as a professional team, but sometimes it can get frustating..

Let me explain..

Attention for the Child can get Overwhelming.

I deal with the Child, Social Workers, Psychologist, Teachers, and Bio Families and most children in State Care have disorders, so one has to set up a  I.E.P and along with that comes ~ Classroom Teacher, District Representative, Communication Specialist, School Counselor, School Social Worker, Special Educator, School Psychologist and that is only to name a few.

They all seem to know what is best for the child that they don't even know...

The foster parent learn first hand about the child and watch them manipulate the adults that come in contact with them briefly..

For an example::

I have a foster son that came to my door step on Dec. 27, 1996. He was a problem child to say the least. He was classified in having the following Disorders :

Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity-Impulsively Disorder,

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,

Attachment Disorder and

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

Not to mention he was moved from his prior foster home for trying to start a fire with paper and a light fixture.  He slept only for about 3 hours at night and was on several different Medications, that did help him... 

After 4 1/2 years with Behavior Modification ~ he is drug free and flourishing, In addition to his academic gains, he  has made considerable progress... he sleeps right through the night, He still needs supervision, direction, and guidance to make good decisions.

His past Disorders currently have symptoms that no longer meet full criteria, "In Partial Remission" should be specified. He is a RAD child and I don't know if he will every leave that behind.

Now that we have that run down of my foster child, let me get to the point of my opinion,

This boy has come a long way and has had at least 3 Case workers,and there are mixed messages being sent to the child. I am teaching him to respect the adults and appreciate their position, and they turn around and treat him as a friend... the children need role models that demand respect .. they have their friends, the children they play with. 

It feels to me that a "Good Guy ~ Bad Guy " role has gone into effect here. Just the other day a new case worker stops in and visits with the child, I introduce her as Mrs. ***** and they go off to spend some time at the park,

When they return, I am informed that the child has voiced some complaints.... and she assured him that she would discuses them with me...

1, He wants contact with his siblings she says, of course who would have a problem with that ? His sibling's Adopted Parents.... I had to explain to her in front of the child, who already knew the reasons..

2. He wants to say up later , only after the case worker stated that 7:30 was to early for him to go to bed because hers go to bed at 8:00., So let's change the standing House Rules, each time a child doesn't like them ?

3. He needs chapstick for his dry lips... implying I don't take care of the basic needs. I stated that I have medicine for his lips when they get cracked, but with a wink she stated that she will bring him some.  (Well she can not send it faster than he will eat it...)

And to top it off she lets me know that she will be coming more often, because she feels the Child need just a bit more ATTENTION .....

Well the child calls the worker by her first name and not Mrs. *****,

I know the Social Worker needs to connect with the child but please lets use "Proper Etiquette" here and work as a team, not for the moment, but for the future role that someday may be theirs..

If I said anything out of line, I wish to apologize in advance.. I respect your rules and regulations... I am only asking for you to do the same toward me...

Let us be a  team....... and take care of Our Children.

My Opinion